That 'Kedayan' Slang

My years in MD may had contributed to my lost of identity, particularly on the way I speak.
Back in SRS and SYHU, me and my peers would communicate in a single tone of language of a local ethnic group predominantly existing in my district, the Kedayan.
Frankly, with the power of arithmetic and maths is concerned, I am roughly 75% Kedayan; my mom being half kedayan and half tutong, and dad of pure kedayan bred (which concluded my calculations as to being 75% kedayan). But being in MD, where the race are quite mixed, I was compelled to speak a more Brunei-ish Malay as speaking Kedayan would only baffle my non-kedayan friends. Often also, I'd deliberately 'talk kedayan' for a change, but that would only lead to bursts of laughters as most of them would find me speaking the language peculiarly funny, for some unintentional reasons. Despite that, I'm in no way offended, because like them, I'd find their Bruneian slang, with that long and almost musical 'landih' similarly hilarious to my ears. 

But the more I interact with them without sounding kedayan, the more I feel being less of my identity. This is eventually proven when sometime recently, I met up with my old  friends back in SYHU. While they spoke with their usual kedayan slang, I, on the other hand, was struggling. In the end, I sort of mumbled something rather queer and odd. In fact, it went so bad, that my friends had to correct my Kedayan, which I found rather embarrassing having chief kedayan blood in me. 

Its just one of those things that strikes me to wonder about myself...

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